The holidays can feel like a magical time filled with joy, gratitude, and connection—or they can feel like a minefield of stress, sadness, and uncertainty, especially if you’re going through a separation or divorce. While it’s tempting to put on a brave face and push through, being intentional about how you approach the season can make all the difference. So, how do you survive during the holidays when life feels hard?
Here are some thoughtful strategies to help you reclaim a sense of calm and control during the holidays:
1. Plan Ahead—and Communicate Early
Sit down with a calendar and map out key dates. If you’re co-parenting, be clear about pick-ups, drop-offs, and where the kids will be for each celebration. Share the schedule with everyone involved early to minimize confusion and avoid last-minute chaos. Children thrive on predictability, especially during times of change.
2. Speak Up About Your Needs
Feeling overwhelmed? It’s okay to ask for help or set limits. Let your loved ones know whether you need a quiet evening to recharge or someone to take over a task. People are more willing to help than we often realize—they need to know how.
3. Carve Out Downtime
The holiday hustle can be exhausting. Don’t feel obligated to attend every party or event. Choose what feels manageable and build in moments to rest, reflect, or just breathe. Your well-being matters.
4. Prioritize Yourself
Even during the busiest days, find one thing just for you. Maybe it’s a quiet morning walk, an extra-long shower, or 30 minutes with your favorite book. Small, intentional acts of self-care will help you stay grounded.
5. Set Boundaries on Tough Conversations
It’s natural for friends and family to want updates about your situation, but you’re not required to share if it doesn’t feel right. Let them know you’d prefer to focus on the holiday and save the heavy discussions for another time. A simple “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not ready to talk about that right now” can work wonders.
6. Be Mindful of Overindulgence
It’s easy to turn to comfort food or drinks when emotions run high, but moderation is key. Too much sugar or alcohol can amplify stress and disrupt sleep, leaving you feeling worse. Focus on choices that help you feel good in the long run.
7. Get Outside and Move Your Body
A brisk walk, a hike, or even playing with the kids outside can boost your mood and energy levels. Fresh air and movement are simple yet powerful ways to reset.
8. Create New Traditions
This might be the year to reimagine the holidays. Is there something about your old traditions that didn’t resonate? Now’s your chance to try something fresh. Let the kids help brainstorm ideas—they’ll love being part of the process.
9. Keep Beloved Traditions Alive
While change can be healthy, there’s comfort in familiarity. Hold onto the traditions that truly matter to you and your family, even if they look a little different this year.
10. Coordinate Gift-Giving Thoughtfully
Talk with your co-parent and extended family about presents to avoid overlap and keep things balanced for the kids. A little teamwork goes a long way in showing them they’re surrounded by love and support.
11. Reach Out for Support
The holidays can bring up all kinds of emotions. If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just need a listening ear, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist, coach, or trusted friend. You don’t have to navigate this season alone.
Above all, remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions during the holidays. Be kind to yourself and take things one day at a time. This season might not be perfect, but it can still hold moments of peace, joy, and connection—even in the midst of change.
If you’d like more guidance or support, I’m here to help. Don’t hesitate to reach out.